Loneliness, darkness, sadness and haunting memories that I'd prefer to not remember. My life changed ever since then. My father is a constant reminder of that night and I don't want to look at an empty bed with upturned blankets ever again. "Dream Marks on my Pillow" by Ana Lancu did not remind me of dreams at all. It only brought the feeling of loneliness and fright right back to my senses. I got angry. Why did this all happen to my father? A man that worked from the crack of dawn to the pitch of night. A loving husband and father. On his very few days off he would spend every minute with us. Than an illness almost took his life. You never really see how close death is until it happens to your family. Those who do not believe that should. Cause it is no joke, it is a constant reality that I relive everyday of my life. It can happen to even the most kindest of souls. Then again God works in mysterious ways and things happen for a reason. Even if we don't understand why.
Haiku:
As I close my eyes
I wake up in a cold sweat
Memories haunt again
I admire your willingness to look for a redeeming reason amidst your anger at the unfairness in life some of us are handed. I am not adept at doing that myself. I have felt many of these feelings, too, about someone I love who I want to have everything, not pain and struggle.
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