It had been a long night. I had been driving for hours. Trying to get away and go somewhere new. I finally decided to stop and sleep so I pulled into the parking lot of the Best Western Hotel. I walked in through the two sliding doors and looked at my surroundings. A pool to the right with crystal clear water and a quite meeting room setting to the left. I couldn't see anyone. The hotel seemed to be abandoned. "Need a room?" asked the clerk. I jumped, he seemed to come out of nowhere and had a funny almost Dracula-like accent. "Uhm yes please." I got my room and headed towards the elevator. Once in I noticed the clerk was staring at me and smiled a rather creepy smile. One that sent goosebumps running up my spine. The doors closed and I chose the 5th floor. As the elevator moved up it seemed to creak and groan like it hadn't used in years. Slowly it moved up but as it moved up I started to hear strange noises. The sounds of nails on a chalkboard, people yelling, glass breaking, howling and blood curdling screams surrounded me as I passed by the 3rd floor. It stopped in an instance as I hit the 4th floor. What seemed like hours I finally reached the 5th floor. The doors creaked open with a ear piercing whine. I stepped out into the dark hallway. It was dead silent. As I walked my way to my room I looked around. Lamps lightened the hallway with a foggy flow, cobwebs wrapped themselves around the lamps, dust lined the crease of door and wall. The wooden doors looked old and from the 1800's, the carpet on the floor looked ripped and filthy, the end of the hallway was a black hole. I started to notice that when I let out a breath it looked like a pillow of smoke. My attention was taken immediately away as my hearing was swallowed in the sounds of claws on wood. My blood went ice cold. The walls went from unwelcoming to a horror house. The lights began to flicker and the floor sounded like a stampede. The next second it all went away and I was left standing there in that dim hallway. My eyes were wide, sweat slid down my face and a sudden chill pierced my skin. The sound of little children laughing ran across the inside of the walls just like the claws did. I started to walk at a quickened pace to my room. I walked into my room and slammed the door behind me. I slid down into a crouch and buried my head into my knees. Tears ran from my eyes and dropped onto my jeans. I lifted my head and felt a giant headache settle in right where my spine connected to my skull. My eyes burned and my chest had an unsettling ache. I got up and decided to look at my room. It was worse than the hallway and hotel itself. It was pitch black with no moonlight to help me. The light bulbs in the lamps were broken and the walls were torn. The few pictures that were spread around the room were shattered of their glass and torn in three jagged lines. The room was chilly and muggy. I opened the fridge to find spoiled food and just enough of a light to let me see a tad bit better. I walked around the room a little to release some of my boredom. Then I felt a baseball bat smack into my back and I crashed into the floor. "Son of a-" but I was cut off as my hair was pulled back and I was thrown against a table. Pain throbbed on my lower back and I felt my legs go numb. I struggled to get up but the figure that hit me started to go back for more. I reached for a chair and felt myself being pulled from behind. I struggled to get out of their grip and managed to crap a candelabra that was lying on the ground. I turned, lifted and smacked the figure straight in the head. They groaned and let go immediately. I crawled towards my bag for my phone. The man, I had found out when I hit him, grabbed my shoulders and slammed me against the wall. He pinned me and I couldn't tell if I was touching the ground or not. "You made a big mistake coming to this hotel Missy" He lifted his hand and slapped my face. A burning sting flooded my cheek and my entire body throbbed. He dropped me and I slouched to the ground. He picked me up and set me in the tub. He turned on the water and a gush of ice cold water flooded out and filled the tub. "Goodbye Miss". Those were the last words I heard before my head slammed into the tubs edge and I was knocked out and drowned. Now my soul creeps along the walls. Clawing and laughing, flickering the lights and stomping on the floor. Trying to warn the people to stay away from room 666.
Sooo creepy! Or "spoopy" as the kids are saying these days! : ) We just watched Psycho in my film class and this made me think of the Bates Motel and Norman luring his victim in. You have done such a nice job using sensory details--all the sights, sounds, feelings, etc.--in this scary moment and place to take your reader right along with you. And I really like that in the end the tortured soul is haunting the hotel not with the intent to scare but to warn others away....even if they probably won't understand enough to heed the warning. Thanks, Nichole!
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